25 September, 2013

My Story Part One

Introduction to my story

Lately I've been feeling like I'm failing you, my readers, on some level and today I realized that it isn't a lack of posts, but a lack of fulfilling the original purpose of this blog and a lack of writing without fear.
                       
First things first, not fulfilling the entire purpose of this blog.  I wanted to talk about my mental illness in the most non-triggering, appropriate way possible. I wanted my story of severe anxiety, an addiction to self- harm, an unspecified mood disorder (most likely being bipolar, but that isn't an official diagnosis) and PTSD, to show people that not only is it possible to overcome these things, but that you can show others hope.  You can share your story without being ridiculed. You can overcome any mental illness with help. You CAN overcome mental illness. That is what I wanted people to get from this blog. 

I have however allowed fear to overcome this portion of my mission for this blog and for that I am sincerely sorry. I'm not gonna make a giant difference, but I can make a small difference and if one person gains an ounce of hope from the way I present my story and from the things I have learned, then my mission is complete.  
What is this fear, you may be asking yourself . This is a fear of something I try to fight, of something I despise from the very core of my being.  The stigma and misunderstanding of these things.  But I realize that by not writing about these things, that in not sharing educational links with you guys, etc, that I too am feeding the stigma surrounding mental illness and self-injury. This realization greatly saddens me. I honestly feel that I have failed, but I also feel great amounts of hope, because I am going to start talking about this every other week in a series. To not only tell my story, but to help educate you all. 

I realize that some people might not like that. That I can lose readership, that I may even be ridiculed, but I honestly can handle those things. I also know that when potential employers are doing background checks that this blog might show up and I may not get a job because of my mental illness, but that is still far less important than standing up and doing something I know I should be doing.

To kick off my educational thing for mental illness and self-injury *
http://twloha.com/learn . This has information on depression, suicide,
self-injury, addiction, and eating disorders. If you're interested in learning more they have excellent educational links. If you are in need of help for any of these things or are having urges to do any of these things, please search their website, they can help you get help.  If you are contemplating suicide call a help line or 911 immediately. 



*Please note not everyone with a mental illness self-injures and not everyone who self-injures has a mental illness. 

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